2007's Dragon Wars: "Terribly" Entertaining

Every now and then a movie comes along that seemingly defies description; a movie that is really bad, but is so entertaining because of it that in the end you aren't even sure if you liked or disliked it. 2007's Dragon Wars is just such a beast and while I recommend it to movie buffs, let me be perfectly clear - this movie IS TERRIBLE!

And how! Where to begin? Well, first off, Dragon Wars (or D-War as it also called because I assume it sounds edgy and cool!) is a Korean sequel movie... set in America... starring Americans... apparently doing American things. They even speak English (no dubbing here) and, despite all that, I still had no clue what the hell was happening. But one thing was absolutely clear and that was the fact that this movie was EPIC! (Factoid: D-War set a record of grossing $20.3 million in South Korea in its first five days in theaters.) Seriously, D-War practically reaches out of the television and slaps you in the face just to let you know. It basically just lets you know that its bad. Really bad.

The plot's confusion starts immediately, reinforced with an immediate 10 year flashback by a character we have not been formally introduced to. It also doesn't help one iota that during said flashback there is another 1000 year flashback that attempts to set the stage for EPIC dragon battle in the here and now. Let me attempt to paint the picture.

There are these dragon gods of which one is good and one is evil (Buraki), hell bent on attaining possession of some spirit-thingy called the Yeo-ui-ju (pronounced YOO-EE-JOO) which will allow it to rule the world forever. Its celestial army was thwarted 1000 years ago and now it has another chance to possess the Yeo-ui-ju. The catch is that Yeo-ui-ju inhabits a beautiful girl at birth and she just happens to be the star-crossed lover of the main character to whom we are never formally introduced. In fact, they loved each other 1000 years ago too! Except back then they were Korean living in ancient Korea and the whole setting seemed better suited for all this dragon nonsense. (For a complete summation of this plot, go here)

Ok, so now that we've finished the crazy marathon of flashbacks, we learn that this mysterious mentor-guide guy (who reminded me of Mortal Kombat's Chang Tsung and played by an obviously desperate for work Robert Forester) has survived 1000 years and is now ready to help our hero defeat the evil dragon in Los Angeles where the new Yeo-ui-ju infested girl lives. And cue the chaos!

This might be one of the highest production value pieces of movie garbage I have ever seen! Seriously, it looks as if they spared no expense as the movie looks fantastic (especially the dragons and the battle sequences) but it is completely counter-balanced by a paper-thin and incomprehensible plot, oddly stereotyped characters that make you wonder how Koreans really perceive Americans and finally just plain bad acting. Watching this movie, it was amazing to me that Michael Bay had absolutely no involvement whatsoever. How could it be so terrible when its production value was pretty high? (Factoid: Dragon Wars or D-Wars was the highest budgeted film in Korea for 2007 with a final budget of $75 million) They made a really expensive comedy and I have to admit that I laughed the whole way through. It was a riot!

If you're looking for a good, non-serious flick to watch on a Saturday night while drinking with your friends, this IS the movie you want. Do not buy it. Do not rent it. Find a way to obtain it free of charge and enjoy watching an example of what the end of the Hollywood writer's strike has spared us from in an alternate future. I'd rate this movie but I have to agree with Korean critic Kim Bong-sok who apparently said that this movie is "below criticism". Well said, good sir. Well said.