Grindhouse: A Tale of Two Very Different Films (Archive)

Yes, I saw it. I wasn't planning on it. The thought had crossed my mind, but I wasn't really leaning towards going. Then I got a call from the usual group of guys and the decision was made - I was going to Grindhouse, an homage double-feature that is a collaboration between Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino.

Let me first say that the extras were well worth it! The spoof trailers tagged onto the two features were some of the funniest stuff I have seen in awhile and the experience was only made better in the company of a bunch of friends. Now the rumor on the street is that the funniest of the bunch, a film called Machete, is indeed going to be made. If true, I will attend. Of that there is NO DOUBT!

Now, as for the films, lets get to it. The first was Rodriguez' flick, a picture called Planet Terror featuring Rose McGowan as the heroine along with a cast including Freddy Rogriguez, Michael Biehn, Josh Brolin and even a brief appearance by Bruce Willis. This film was a raucous, over-indulging gorefest that was so over-the-top and outrageous it produced nearly non-stop laughter beginning to end. Of course it wasn't meant to be taken seriously so the mission was most definitely accomplished.

Lets face it - a woman loses a leg and it gets replaced by an M16 machine gun. Yes, that makes no sense except for the fact that she and her friends are on the run from an endless horde of zombie-like humans who have been affected by a biological weapon which is causing them to mutate, eat brains and cause general havoc. So, as luck would have it, the M16 leg was just what the doctor order. And of course there was a full helping of slapstick comedy, grindhouse-style movie spoofs and fight sequence involving a grown man riding at 60 miles per hour on a pocket motorbike. I am only scratching the surface here.

Planet Terror was graphic beyond belief but it did serve a purpose lampooning a whole genre of movies and causing a chorus of loudly yelled "oooh"s and "eeeeeewww"s from the audience. If you are a fan of alien invasion movies, horror flicks, zombies or hardcore gore and action, I'd say this is a must see. It was simply too funny to dislike. Bravo, Mr. Rodriguez. Bravo! 8/10

That brings me to the second half of this double feature, Death Proof. Quentin Tarantino films don't have a good history with me, but after Planet Terror I was stoked and ready to go. And what should happen but that I get bogged down and bored out of my skull with a film that was way too talky for its own good and I would add simply disturbing in some respects. This film gets a big thumbs down from me. I couldn't wait for it to be over and had I been alone I would have walked out. To his credit, I think Kurt Russel played his character Stuntman Mike very well and he was the lone bright spot to this picture.

As I've said, this film was way too slow and talky from the get-go. It centers around a deranged man (Stuntman Mike) who gets some kind of sick satisfaction from spotting women and then ultimately killing them by means of his "death proof" stunt car. Or wait... did it center around two separate groups of girl friends who are going out on the town and hanging out in bars and talking... and talking... and talking.??? I really can't decide, but then again it isn't worth the effort to figure it out In fact, the first third of this film was two really long, really boring conversations. My friends and I kept looking at each other during the film and rolling our eyes. It comes down to this - if I wanted to spend a night out on the town with some girls, I would go spend the night out on the town with some girls. I didn't want to, I don't and it was completely lame.

Tarantino likes to pride himself on clever dialogue in his films and I'm sure his intent with these women were no different. However, these conversation were like watching paint dry. (Did you notice the impressive 25 minute long shot without a cut in the bar? No, because my eyes glazed over and I checked out after 15 minutes.)

Then there was the just plain disturbing nature of the rest of the film wherein a guy hunts down and kills women for sport with his car. I can tell you that I don't get any entertainment out of that and I didn't need to see a high speed car wreck in slow motion repeated three times. This film had no appeal to me, bored me to tears and disgusted me. Had it not been a double feature, I would have demanded my money back. Planet Terror is definitely worth paying for, but you won't miss much by ducking out early after its over. Death Proof sucked! 3/10

Now, I have heard some comments that Death Proof should have been shown first and been followed by Planet Terror, but I really think they made the right choice putting it second. Had it been the other way around, I think a lot of people would have simply walked out and missed a great time at the movies in Planet Terror.

As for Tarantino and me... of his films that I have seen, here is the rundown.

Liked: Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill Volume II (own it)

Disliked: Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill Volume I and Death Proof


Edit: So after a well stated comment by good friend and film aficianado Jacob, I am adjusting my ratings for Death Proof and Planet Terror. He made some valid points and also upon further reflection, my ratings were out of whack. Notably, I can't justify to myself rating Planet Terror higher than Snakes on a Plane. So, let it be noted that the new ratings are adjusted.